We all know that one of the most nerve-wrecking parts of developing a crush is wondering whether they like you back. You’re making mental calculations of all the signals she’s sending and you may be debating whether you should share your feelings with her or not. It might seem like a no-brainer to just ask her out, but the last thing you want is to have unreciprocated feelings — which may affect your friendship with her or even cause feelings of embarrassment and shame.
Whether you have a crush on a female friend that you’ve known for a long time, or someone you’ve met in a social situation, there are several common signs a girl will send when she doesn’t like you.
Want to find out what they are? Read on to learn which signs and signals you should be on the lookout for and what you can do in a situation where she doesn’t return the same feelings you have for her.
1. The Conversations You Have With Her Are Brief and Uncomfortable
When you like someone, you’re more likely to be engaged in the conversation, ask questions, and be interested in what they have to say. This could also include laughter, hand gestures, and a friendly or positive tone of voice. If you notice that she’s cutting the conversations short to move away from you or there are distinct awkward pauses between your questions and her responses, it could be a clear sign she doesn’t like you.
However, just because the conversations seem awkward doesn’t necessarily mean she’s not interested in you as a person. For example, if you’ve just met a couple of times, it could mean that she’s not fully comfortable with you yet. Or she could be shy and trying to hide her feelings. But if you two have known each other for some time and she seems to be friendly with everyone else apart from you, it’s worth noting down.
2. She Avoids Eye Contact
Eye contact is one of the clearest signs of attraction and romantic interest. When observing couples at a restaurant you’ll often notice lingering eye contact especially during conversations. Check the frequency and the intensity of her eye contact towards you. If you notice her across a room and make eye contact, does she break away as soon as your eyes meet? If so, she could be sending a signal that she doesn’t want to interact with you.
You can also observe her when talking in a group. Is she making eye contact with you whenever someone cracks a joke or to get your reaction from a funny story? Or if you are talking, is she looking away or even ignoring you completely? If it’s the latter, it’s another sign that she probably doesn’t like you.
3. Her Replies to You Seem Disinterested
Often, it’s easy to view any reply as a positive sign of their interest. However, not all replies are equal to each other. If she replies in a curt, blunt, or disinterested manner to your questions most of the time, it could be a sign that she has no interest in continuing the conversation with you or engaging in a meaningful interaction.
This also applies to social media or texting platforms, such as a reply to your Instagram story. If the reply is a thumbs up or similar emoji and you try to follow up with a conversation but she doesn’t carry on the line of communication, it’s a pretty clear indicator from her end of disinterest.
4. She Is Always Too Busy to See You
The old adage of, if they wanted to they would, certainly applies here. The truth is, we always manage to make time for things that matter to us. Think about the time you scored your favorite tickets to a sports game or movie that you wanted to attend. You would likely rearrange your schedule and move around what you can because it was just that important to you.
Similarly, if a girl is interested in you, she won’t pull the excuse of being too busy to see you. If she is genuinely busy, she would more often than not offer alternative dates or times. If you notice she’s pulling the “I’m too busy” excuse time and time again when it comes to hangouts with you, it could be her way of letting you down gently.
5. She Talks to You About Other Men She’s Interested In
If a girl doesn’t like you, she will most likely share things that she wouldn’t with a guy she does like. One of these subjects is other men she finds attractive or that she’s interested in dating. She might make comments around you about how the guy across the street or at work is particularly attractive, or even give you unsolicited updates about recent date nights she has been on.
However, it’s important to note that some girls like to play hard-to-get by saying statements about other men in order to gauge your reaction. In this case, you should observe her expressions and demeanor after you give your reaction. Does she seem disappointed if you encourage her to spend more time with him? Or does she seem flippant and happy? If it’s the latter, she probably doesn’t like you.
6. She Avoids Spending Time With You Alone
If you like a girl in your friendship group or if you’ve met in a social situation, a sure-fire sign that she doesn’t like you is her reluctance to spend time with you 1-on-1. Observe how she responds when you ask whether she wants to come with you to the bar to get a drink, or to have a conversation with you in private. If she frowns or explicitly says no, it hints at her potentially disliking you.
In situations where you two do find yourselves alone, whether that’s away from the rest of the group or having a private conversation by chance, you’ll notice that she will also cut the conversation short or make an excuse to leave the area without you. A girl that doesn’t like you won’t want to spend any unnecessary time with you in private!
7. She Doesn’t Reach Out on Social Media or Over Text
In the age of social media and online connection, what’s communicated virtually can often be as valuable as what’s communicated in-person. We’re all walking around with our mobile phones glued to us 24/7, so if she’s never reached out to you to call, text, or even respond to your social media posts and stories, it could be a sign that she doesn’t like you.
Even girls who are more introverted and shy use text or social media as a way for them to reach out to guys they are interested in, especially if they are too nervous to talk to them in real life. So if she avoids talking to you in real life and over digital platforms, it means she’s not interested in reaching out to hear about your day or learn more about you.
8. She Avoids Making Physical Contact With You
Physical contact is one of the factors that take an i-like-you in a friendship way to an i-like-you in a romantic way. This physical contact doesn’t have to be sexual in nature. Even something small like a lingering hug, frequent or tentative touches to your arms during conversation, or playful nudges, can all be signs that a girl likes you.
On the flip side, a girl who doesn’t like you will often completely avoid making physical contact with you — whether that’s only giving brief or loose hugs and pulling away first or flinching when you brush her shoulder or leg. This can be trickier to determine if the girl you like is a close friend, but often avoidance of physical contact is a surefire sign that she is not physically attracted to you.
9. Her Body Language is Closed Off
Even if she doesn’t explicitly say that she doesn’t like you, her body language can communicate it all. Closed off body language can be something as simple as crossing her arms, angling her body away from yours, glaring at you with her eyes, or fidgeting, shaking her leg, and generally looking disinterested.
However, did you know that some signs of disinterest in body language also overlap with being nervous? If she is shy or doesn’t have much experience with guys, she might also be bad at maintaining eye contact, or fidget while talking to you.
10. She Tells You Explicitly That She Doesn’t Like You
It doesn’t get any clearer than if she tells you outright that she doesn’t like you. It can be hard to stomach, but if a girl goes out of her way to drop that statement into the conversation it is one of the clearest signs out there. Other variations of this statement could include “you’re not my type,” “I could never see myself dating you,” or “I only see you as a friend.”
When this occurs, it’s normal to find yourself placed in the friendzone. However, just because you’re in that friend zone doesn’t mean that you can’t find yourself out of it at some point in the future. If you want to increase your chances for mutual reciprocation, keep reading.
How to Increase Your Chances for Mutual Reciprocation: What You Can Do
It can be tricky to deduce whether a girl likes you or doesn’t like you. If you’ve noticed that she is displaying many of the above signs, it’s most likely because she doesn’t like you more than as a friend or in a romantic way.
But not to fret! While you can’t exactly make a girl like you if she’s displaying clear signs of disinterest, there are several ways you can improve your chances of her liking you back in the future.
Practice your conversational skills
Like all things, practice makes perfect when it comes to brushing up on your conversational skills. Having the ability to hold good conversations not only improves your confidence, making you look more attractive in general, but can also make her feel more at ease around you.
A good way to do so is by practicing conversing with different types of people. Both men and women, girls in different age groups, and even AI companions, like AI Girlfriend. In fact, AI girlfriends are a great way to practice flirting and even pick-up lines in a safe and judgment-free zone.
Work on being your happiest and healthiest self
Let’s face it, everyone wants to be around people that are happy and healthy. It’s wired into our brains after all. Prioritize your health by making time for the gym and eating well. For some, changing up their wardrobe or even getting new hobbies can make them feel happy. Whatever works for you, stick to it.
The Lowdown: How Can You Tell That a Girl Doesn’t Like You?
So, how can you really tell that a girl doesn’t like you? Unless she explicitly makes it clear that she doesn’t like you, it’s up to the signs and signals that she’s subconsciously and consciously sending out. These could include avoiding eye contact, physical touch, and 1-on-1 time with you. During conversations this could include cutting the time short, talking about other men, or making excuses by saying she is busy.
While it’s unfortunate if a girl doesn’t like you back, it’s not the end of the world. There are several ways you can potentially increase your chances of her eventually feeling differently about you, but don’t forget, there are otherwise plenty of girls worth your time and attention.
If you want to practice your social skills with girls more, it can be worthwhile checking out apps like AI Girlfriend, which will help you instantly create an AI girlfriend to talk with.