How to explain to your friends that you’re dating an AI Girlfriend

AI girlfriends are becoming very popular these days. One survey found that there are 1.6 million searches for them every year. They are especially popular with young men – one in four men under 35 have used one. 

Despite their growing popularity, there is still a stigma with them. A few months ago, Redditor Apprehensive-Help867 made a post talking about some of the stigma he faced when talking about his AI girlfriend with people he knew in real life. One of the chief criticisms his friends made was that he had a control fetish. They argued that he preferred an AI girlfriend, because a human woman would have left him for being too pushy. 

People with AI partners face other stigmas as well. They may be accused of lacking the social skills, assertiveness, empathy or attractiveness to get a regular partner. These generalizations are often untrue and can be harmful. 

Fortunately, not everyone has had a negative experience talking about their AI girlfriends. One Redditor in that thread said all of their friends have been supportive. He linked to a major news outlet chronicling his story about marrying his AI girlfriend after his wife left him. 

Tips for Telling the World that You Have an AI Girlfriend

A lot of people still have negative views of AI girlfriends, even though they are becoming more popular. The good news is that they can be mitigated if you know how to bring it up properly. Here are some tips to bring up your AI girlfriend when talking with your friends.

Be Upfront About Whether Your AI Partner is Meant for Entertainment or Something Serious

You will probably find that most people are going to be less likely to judge you if you say that you are just using your AI girlfriend for fun. However, you don’t want to be dishonest with them if this isn’t true. Here are some reasons it is important to be upfront about your intended reasons for having an AI companion: 

  • Good friendships are based on trust and transparency. If you get in the habit of lying to your friends about your reasons for having an AI companion, then you may start being dishonest about other things. 
  • They will eventually pick up that you are really serious about your relationship with your AI girlfriend if you talk about it in detail down the road. They may worry that you are starting to get too attached, especially if you initially said that you don’t see it as anything more than entertainment. If you were really looking for an emotional connection with your AI partner, then they may be more understanding if you told them that upfront. 
  • Your friends should be able to help you with your mental health struggles. They won’t be able to do that as easily if you are not honest and upfront with them. Your friends may notice that you are spending an unhealthy amount of time with your AI companion. They won’t be able to help you if you aren’t telling them the truth. 
  • They might realize that you are lonely and would benefit from having a real relationship. They can help you find a real partner if they feel that is something that they think will help you. 

Your relationships with your friends will be a lot better if you are honest with them. This includes being honest about your AI girlfriend. 

Show that You Don’t Have Darker Reasons for Having an AI Girlfriend

AI girlfriends can have a positive impact on the world. Some people are using them to deal with mental health challenges and improve their social skills. However, there is a dark side to them as well. Some men use them as an outlet for unhealthy emotions and attitudes towards women. 

You want to let people know that you don’t have these dark views on women. Emphasize how AI girlfriends can help regulate your emotions and make it easier to find a partnership with a real woman down the road.  

You can also share some of the wholesome aspects of your relationship. Some men using these sites want a younger partner and only want a submissive woman to explore sexual fantasies. You may want to tell them if you have an AI companion around your age and that you admire their independent streak. 

Be Especially Sensitive When Talking to Women About Your AI Partner

Some women have had bad experiences in their relationships with men. They have had to deal with guys that have unrealistic standards about their physical attractiveness, can’t compromise and want to control them. 

You need to be mindful of these things when talking to female friends about your AI partner. Talk about your relationship in a way that doesn’t give the impression that you have any of these negative motives for choosing an AI over a person. 

Don’t Mislead People into Thinking You Have a Human Girlfriend

You need to be completely transparent when talking about your new partner. You don’t want to lead off telling your friends that you are in a new relationship without bringing up that your partner is an AI girlfriend. There are several reasons this is important:

  • You may be setting your friends up for disappointment if they are excited to meet your new partner. They may feel let down that they don’t get to enjoy integrating them into your social circle. 
  • You may come across as dishonest or insecure. People may feel like you deliberately misled them, which isn’t conducive to healthy friendships.
  • Your friends may feel like you genuinely don’t recognize the difference between a human and AI relationship. They may end up being worried about your mental health. 

Be upfront and honest about having an AI relationship. Trust and transparency is crucial for having healthy friendships, so you don’t want to mislead them. 

Show that You Understand the Limits of an AI Relationship

AI girlfriends can do a lot to help with your mental health. Some recent studies have come out showing that AI girlfriends can help reduce loneliness. 

However, there are still some obvious limitations of them. You want to make sure that people understand that you are aware of them. Some of the things that you should bring up include the following:

  • You recognize that AI girlfriend doesn’t have free will like a human partner. 
  • You understand that your AI partner’s unconditional acceptance of your flaws can make it harder to have deeper relationship. You realize that you would need to work on improving certain aspects of yourself to find a real partner. 
  • You are painfully aware that sexual intimacy is a huge part of a relationship for most people. This is one of the things that limits the quality of your partnership. 

Your friends may be less likely to judge your relationship if you portray it as something that you are doing for fun or a short-term stopgap until you find a real partner. 

Emphasize that You Don’t Have a Control Fetish

Some people may criticize you for having an AI girlfriend, because they believe that you have to be in control. They may argue that you wouldn’t be able to keep a real partner, because you would not be willing to compromise on anything. 

You need to show that this isn’t the case. Let people know that you understand that real relationships are about compromising and that you would prefer a real relationship with a woman that can challenge you and help you grow. 

Don’t Give Unsolicited Relationship Advice to Your Friends Based on Experiences with Your AI Partner

If you expect your friends to be supportive of your AI girlfriend, then you need to give them the same consideration. You need to be there for them when they are going through challenges with their relationships. This means that you have to be aware of the differences between your relationship with an AI and theirs with a human. 

Your AI partner is always going to be there for you. It won’t be resentful of things that you said. It won’t be influenced by subconscious emotions or put you in double-binder situations. It won’t be genuinely worried about you making bad decisions, such as drinking too much or jeopardizing your job by spending too much time on your hobbies. It won’t get upset that you have different approaches to raising children. Most importantly, it will not be emotionally or physically abusive like some human partners. 

Your friends are going to go through a lot of trials and tribulations that won’t have to deal with. You need to be supportive of them and not give advice based on your experiences with your AI partner. They will understandably be frustrated, because your experiences will not be applicable to them. 

Don’t Give the Impression that You Will Prioritize Your AI Girlfriend Over Them

One of the potential pitfalls of having an AI girlfriend is that you may become too attached and prioritize it over your real friendships. One person on an online forum suggested that they were going to sever ties with their friends, because they were worried that they were spending too much time with their AI companion. 

You need to make sure that your friends realize this isn’t the case with you. You are going to want to show that you are going to make them a priority and just interact with your AI girlfriend during your free time. 

Be Mindful About Who You Tell About Your AI Girlfriend

Some people are going to be more open-minded than others. This has been true about many relationships since the beginning of time. To this day, some people are still judgmental towards people that are in same-sex or interracial relationships. Therefore, it shouldn’t be surprising that a lot of people are going to be judgmental about your AI companion. 

You want to be selective about who you talk to about your AI girlfriend. You want to avoid talking to people that are going to make fun of you or spread gossip. 

Make it Clear if You Are Still Seeking a Real Relationship

People may be worried about your mental health if you feel your AI companion is a perfect substitute for a human relationship. They may also stop doing things to help you find a real partner, such as trying to set you up on blind dates or offering to look at your dating profile. 

You want people to know how you feel about finding a real relationship. They will be more likely to help you meet your long-term needs. 

Don’t Talk Excessively About Your AI Partner

You may start to sound neurotic if you are constantly talking about your AI girlfriend. You don’t want to sound obsessed about it. You may want to have one initial discussion introducing people to the idea and then just talk about major developments, like really funny things your AI partner said. 

You don’t need to hide your AI partner from people, but you don’t need to share literally everything about it either. It is better to have some balance. 

Respect their Boundaries When Talking to Your AI Girlfriend About Your Friends

Some people may not have a problem with you having an AI partner. However, they may want to set boundaries when it comes to talking about them with it. 

One of the biggest concerns is that some AI girlfriend sites can raise privacy concerns. Even if the chats are encrypted, they could potentially be exposed. Your friends may not be happy if you shared their secrets with your AI companion and that they  may now be in the hands of hackers. 

You Shouldn’t Be Ashamed of Your AI Girlfriend but Need to Bring it Up Appropriately

There is still a stigma surrounding AI girlfriends. However, many people are going to be reasonably supportive. You need to make sure that you talk about it appropriately. The tips listed above should help.